you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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