I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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