Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
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Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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