hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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