Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
God, I missed his penis.
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