i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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