my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
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I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
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Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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