How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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