is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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