apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
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We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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