She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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