dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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