So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
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Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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