Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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