I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize