Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

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  (712): I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/ngoq
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.

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  (480): she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever. http://tfl.nu/lqf2
  Replies (73) Good night (1095) Bad night (15533) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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  (512): My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context. http://tfl.nu/nfjx
  Replies (26) Good night (6077) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine

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  (954): so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine http://tfl.nu/9kja
  Replies (30) Good night (2870) Bad night (4870) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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  (206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri
  Replies (13) Good night (2014) Bad night (3502) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.

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  (440): i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me. http://tfl.nu/a0ta
  Replies (13) Good night (3149) Bad night (735)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.

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  (970): I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more. http://tfl.nu/19ra
  Replies (3) Good night (2631) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!

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  (+61): She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?! http://tfl.nu/x2ya
  Replies (14) Good night (929) Bad night (3978)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?

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  (503): bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing? http://tfl.nu/vn0z
  Replies (1) Good night (1591) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone

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  (262): put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone http://tfl.nu/kic6
  Replies (16) Good night (3524) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.

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  (479): Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE. http://tfl.nu/evb8
  Replies (10) Good night (547) Bad night (2148) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money

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  (403): Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money http://tfl.nu/gvry
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  (760): View more from California

  It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect

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  (760): It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect http://tfl.nu/8hkz
  Replies (1) Good night (830) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.

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  (415): My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me. http://tfl.nu/kvah
  Replies (7) Good night (710) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD

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  (724): Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD http://tfl.nu/rhmm
  Replies (4) Good night (800) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt

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