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I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
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