I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize