Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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