We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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