I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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