When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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