Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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