I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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