Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize