I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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