It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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