sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
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saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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