Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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