look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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