All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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