That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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