She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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