My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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