we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We are two peas in an std pod
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
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It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize