On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
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Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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