id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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