Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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