Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize