Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you never un-have a 4some
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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