I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize