she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
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I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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