"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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