There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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