she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize