I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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