Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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