I wish my penis had an off switch
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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