he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
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Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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