if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize