now i know why i became what i already was.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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